The sayonara syndrome

MSN chatting is not all about gossip.
It could be intellectual at times.
Here, lalang and i we hatched the idea of the Sayonara Syndrome**
In which, I believe that all the symptoms described in the previous Glacius* post, fit its criteria.


The Saynonara syndrome
Pathophysiology : suppression of overwhelming sadness with a tinge of self denial and realization of impermanence

Risk factors : 1. schooling for quarter of a century 2. medical students like us

Etiology : pressure of ending school + looming exam + porties + parting with friends

Symptoms : 1. incoherent speech 2. flight of ideas 3. mood swings 4.sudden facial changes 5. self isolation

Mgx : 1. lots of social support 2. suggests individual to focus on exam 3. pharmacology treatment is strongly not recommended as it blunts the necessary intelligence for preparations of exam.


Prognosis : Good, resolves with time.


[*Glacius is a freezing spell in the Potter world ]

Glacius

Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by,
not slowly either,
but with ropes of steam and spark-spattered wheels
and a hoarse roar of power or terror.
It's passing, yet I'm the one
who's doing all the moving.
~Martin Amis

The feeling im having is weird.
down-right weird.
my mind is slowing everyday to a slow motion

the etiology is not from the stress of the looming exam,
and it's certainly not love (rolls eyes; who has time for this?!)
but more of
the idea of being thrown into the real world,
parting with friends that i've made in this 5 years,
leaving buddies tat make me laugh until i have facial spasm..
packing my bags to say goodbye to home sweet home again..
leaving school for the 1st time in nearly a quarter of my life..

it doesn't feel like being stuffed into a pressure cooker,
and it certainly doesn't feel like dying
it's ... weird indescribable feeling of utter blah.
its like im anticipating for the next page,
the next chapter,
to progress,
to spread my wings and fly,

but at the same time,
deep within the gray matter..
i know that i'll be nostalgic of this chapter of my life
i realize i'm secretly hoping that time will just freeze.
stop. pause. whatever. just make it last longer..

time waits for no one,
but, ah.. with the potter mania; magic, perhaps?

Fate binds us all

The thing about "working" at hometowns is that,
inevitably, you'll bound to meet someone you know

- xinli

For the 1st time ever, my 12-hour oncall was so meaningful.
It was way better than filling up that few spaces of my log book.
Yesterday, apart from getting to know kaklong&kaklang my friends better, I was extremely happy about what had happened. And it's really simple joy+shock+ekkz that prompted me to blog about it.

It was like, wow! omg! walking into a flash bang at 2am in the morning sorta thing.
No warnings. No flash lights.
Pure jodoh

The thing was,

i met my long lost primary school friend.

we never met after we part ways after primary 6.
I went to Convent, while she went to Chinese High School.
The circumstances that we met that day was simply outta this world!!

Never had i imagined that i would meet her again,
when she's in labour, for her THIRD child! 3rd! tiga! @,@


it's been 13 years since we met.
And if you are doing the calculations,
I was 11 when i was in primary 6.
13 years.
13 years down the road.
she has 3 kids + loving husband.
while i on the contrary is practically kid-less+zero-lovelife.
we have such a different life.
even though we had the same education for 6 years.

Ah...
You just can't beat jodoh
and the invisible string that binds us all together.

The professional juggler

I feel like an overflow-ed reservoir
I have lots to say, lots. Tonnes, Noones and Zonnes ( ok, i made this up :p )

A lot has been happening lately
its like balancing my weight on the tip of an iceberg
on the digitus minimus
while being bombarded by asteroids

Portfolios,
life events,
the near ending of another chapter of my life,
being awake for 24 hours straight and still having to answer to Questions posed by dr_K during class,
delivering,
resuscitating,
keeping a straight-alert face when in fact im-so-dead-tired , scrubbing in with the yellow hat,
snatching the scissor from the HO to cut the sutures,
counting down to the FINAL exam... is ........... ---
ah .
the aiyo-kadavale(taught by uma)-indescribable-exhilirating grey-matter stretching-experience.

And.. I know, i know, its going to get more and more intense as the final weeks creep in,
but i still cant shake off the idea that these experiences would be a really good material to laugh about during our 40 years reunion.

Fore!

R.I.P MJ

xinli is very much in the portfolio frenzy now = no time to talk / blog / sleep :(

Wa..what in the world?

Talking dogs!

cheers

2 months to adjust and back to swimming routine :)

Do you have 1 hour and 40 minutes to spare?

If you can spare 1 hour and 40 minutes and you just love mcdonalds,
watch this free movie : super size me ;
see what happens to this guy who took mcD 3 times per day for 30 days!

The art of fishing

In semester 10, we are required to learn the fine art of fishing and its humongous secret(s).
Yes, and i do mean fishing.

Well, you see,
before all of us graduate into the real world,
first and foremost,
we gotta learn something
something to survive out there

And, this holy task of educating us to be top notched imu grads,
is devised in a way that not many could understand..
well basically, the task the admin ppl had to do
was to throw us to H. Batu Pahat,
to learn.. LEarn.. LEARN...it!

but... learn wa-what?

Simple.
We were required to write up catch ten cases big rare/interesting fish-ies..
well, initially, 10 does sound like an easy task,
come on, i could easily net 10 in a month in seremban!
what's the big deal!? - so. i. thought.

Hence,
armed with good spirits, some fishing rods, some cacings and sampans we took from seremban..
we waited...
and waited...
and waited.....


Not long,
we came to our senses to realize that interesting cases big fishes are scarce
Suspicion amongst us grew like wild fire.. who is catching all the fish-ies?
Did some use bigger more canggih super fish nets while some others are using kampung style fishing rods?
Did they arm themselves with ultrasound guides?
Or did some built their own fish farms?

Ahh...
Out of desperation and fear..
We all failed to see the big picture.
the reason was s i m p l e.
it was a small pond,
the fishes were limited. the demand outweighs the supply.
We just got to be patient and have faith.

But, it wasn't that easy to learn new things.. things that you thought you knew, but wasn't tested.
i too realize that my angels were on holiday starting from 2nd week onwards..
i got nothing but broken bones, head contussion, rib fractures tins cans, twigs, boots, false alarms, and not to mention falling into the cold water for a few times. Jumbled together with the roller coster adrenaline charged rides you get, when you suddenly feel a tug (gasp) - immediately your spirits run high thinking :yeah finally its my turn and im getting 1!! but it crashed down so badly when you realize it has already bitten somebody's cacings..

Oh anyway..
as the saying goes, Everything comes gradually and at its appointed hour.
i caught one biggy during the last 3 days of my posting! yea! after 4 weeks of tincans-twigs-boots-of DRAUGHT!
so adding to the 1 biggy during the very first week, i'm now safely in comfort zone.
Phew, was that close! my angels came back just in time!

So, did the holy plan managed to educate us ?
Hopefully.
Instilling
patience.
absolute faith in your guardian angles
and to accept that life isn't always fair, for some hidden reasons that we couldn't possibly understand.
to us ego-maniacs-knuckle heads.. would certainly not be an easy task..

but hey, we are not yet old dogs who can't learn new tricks right?

Sex, lies and bullshit

Well, except for the sex.

Sometimes, for a moment, i tend to forget that i am actually studying in a medical school. where people are supposed to be angels and saints.
Maybe i should have just gone into law school , or meet the devil himself and learn to be a real tough mut.

Blame it on me, maybe i've set my standards too high. maybe this is the real deal.. it's just the tip of the ice berg of what it is happening in the real world. Where people spread lies lies and lies to tarnish a person or, backstabbing is nothing but bread and butter to survive? And, ah... not forgetting the juicy gossips. Where the thin line between truth and lies are blurred and altered beyond recognition. White becomes black and black becomes white; you can't tell which is which. And in the end, we all ended up as sluggish grey.

Is this what we are? The future? The people to lead? To invent? To make a better world?
Where is the dignity? Where are the standards? where where where?! Under the bed perhaps? Or, as i always say, it's just a self protective mechanism?
to be offensive, to protect thee self? Aren't we great minds who think? synthesize theories? Haven't we all heard of - Great minds discuss ideas, mediocre minds discuss events and small minds discuss personalities?

I was hoping for a change.
Yeah right.
some changes
We must advance. Advocate good. Not to whiter and go along whatsoever, to be mindless bull dungs who degenerate and downgrade ourselves to be cannon balls.
Where's your conscience? Have you forgotten why you are here in the first place?
We are supposed to be the crystal balls, the great minds! Duh!

design your IMU kampung angkat 09 t-shirt

Your idea is highly anticipated and appreciated!
Email your idea to : Kampung.angkat@imu.edu.my
Deadline : 4th May 2009
Any queries? contact me :) or kasemsuk
T-shirt template:



Required to insert :

Random thoughts.

this life,
is nothing but a film,
written
directed,
acted,
by the same person.

a song,
compossed,
and sung
by the same person.

in a fleeting moment
and it's gone,
over,
like a scent in the wind.

so beautiful,
yet
so sad.

-xinli at 2am -

Have you heard of the Tokelau Islands?

Honestly, before today, i didn't even know it existed!
I guess most of us don't know either, it being a group of small islands 32 hours away from new zealand! ...

So, realizing this fact, the residents of tokelau islands thought of an ingenious way to promote their islands
that is,
to provide FREE domains to anyone who needs it.
the domain names that you had spent nights to dream of having,
that special dot.com name that you want,
but, reluctant to spend a dime on it kinda thing,
so, here at dot tk ,
you can now dream of having it Eg, www.xinli.tk or www.anythingyouwant.tk or www.yournamehere.tk
( man, do i sound like a desperate salesperson! ; but good things are meant to be shared, ya?)

well, it doesn't host your website there at dot tk, so you can still retain your original weblink and just direct your new address to the old site. Saves you the time of rebuilding another site eh?
anyway, have fun peeps!

I'm home

Bliss, in the heart

+

+

+

+

=

An Indescribable feeling :-)

MEQ rush

"MEQ are modified essay questions, set in a way so that you are able to redeem yourself" said dr.sara during the start of the marathon of 4-6minutes per paper.
what a rush of adrenaline!!
Anyways.. 1 down, 3 to go~ next stop, ospe!~
gambate gambate!

Wanna know how much your website is worth?

This site actually calculates how much you can sell your website* for!!
Be hardworking and maybe you can get your own golden retriever :P
* website = ie - www. xxx / yahoo / xinli . com.
www.xxxx.blogspot / wordpress.com is not applicable though..

:) have fun~
and,
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR dudes!

Nothing but the truth

white lie or "black lie" is still a lie
and what do you call a person who lies?
a liar.

I support honesty.
because being honest means
i can sleep well,
eat well
sing with the correct tune,
and not being scared of something under the covers which would haunt me for life.

It is often easier said than done.
and every time you make a promise to god,
to be honest and true to yourself,
He would think of ways and means to test your promise.

So, this is the mess i perfectly plant myself into,
to tire myself out, dead exhausted one night..
missing the rounds the other morning,
apart from getting a ear full from my housemate and close friends,
i have to write a very formal letter to explain this absence...
hence armed with this at the very back of my head,
i shall put my best foot forwards,
to be down right honest
with no nonsense
no excuses
and no justifications.

It would be just it.

Nickelback "gotta be somebody"

How true..

All I Ever Really Needed to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten -Robert Fulgham


Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what
to do, and how to be, I learned in Kindergarten. Wisdom was not at
the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox
at nursery school.

These are the things I learned..

Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back
where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things
that aren't yours. Say sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your
hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good
for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw
and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world,
watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of
wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go
down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but
we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in
the plastic cup - they all die. So do we.

And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first
word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK. Everything you
need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and
basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and sane living.

Think of what a better world it would be if we all - the whole
world had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then
lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy
in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we
found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it is still true, no
matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best
to hold hands and stick together.

7 weeks to go till that exam
everything else seems so insignificant now..
It feels like this: meditating with no oxygen..

It's beautiful

Today,
right after CME,
i reported to the sister's room before joing Ms. J in the OT
and i stumbled upon this hanging in her room,
starring, and waving frantically back at me .. well.. literally..

I do my thing and
you do your thing
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
and you are not in this world to live up to mine.

You are you
and I am I

and if by chance we find each other,
it's beautiful."

i wasn't spying or anything, just that the room was empty and i was simply looking around :p

Furball

To quell my undying craving love for a golden retriever ..
I've decided to settle for something small and furry
while i save and stock up my $ vault
*grins* i am buying myself a hammie *grins*

I'm a .. what?

You Are a Pear

You are independent, intelligent, and a free thinker. You can accomplish great things, especially when you do them on your own. You are direct, honest, and sometimes even a bit brutal. There's not much that gets in the way of you and your ambition. While you are hard nosed, you do have a much sweeter side to you. It takes times for you to soften toward someone, but once you do, you'll be their friend for life.

What Type of Fruit Are You?

I have a crush on ... Obama

I am honored to live to this day,
to be able to see a black man being elected as the president of the united states
to see impossible things becoming reality

This points to only one thing--
anything is possible.
A N Y T H I N G
as long as you put your heart and soul in
it'll be crafted to what you want

Yes, We can.
After all, we are the new generation of Love and Hope.
Yes, we can.

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality.

Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.

Yes we can heal this nation.

Yes we can repair this world.

Yes we can.

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics...they will only grow louder and more dissonant ........... We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea --


Inspiring, isn't it?
His full speech here

Yiks

State of my mind now -> totally caught off guard

Well, this is how it started
Right after gyne's mini test on thursday,
as i was walking down the lane surrounded by some trees.. a gust of wind blew
like in the movie - the happening
i got infected..infected by an incurable disease
and this bug is happily eating me up
like a kid enjoying his first McDonald' meal
crunching the bones in a synchronous melody

Ah...
this disease keeps resurfacing in my conscious thought..
it's taking up all my time
i keep thinking about it... ahhhhhh.... help!!

oh cut the crap!
What is it?!



THIS
THIS THIS THIS
::sweat sweat::
this is the problem!
I want a doggie
A golden retriever.
And this thought is driving me nuts!!

and the biggest hurdle to it is
$$$$$$ -
after hours researching regarding this dog,
i found out that 1 pup costs about 1-2 thousand!
yes! thousand!!! *rolls eyes*
it's the same price as my O2 for goodness sake!
i'll have to rake out my stash to cure this disease

ahh..

Motivasi

当我和世界不一样 那就让我不一样

坚持对我来说 就是以刚克刚

我如果对自己不行 如果对自己说谎

即使你不原谅 我也不能原谅

最美的愿望 一定最疯狂

我就是我自己的神 在我活的地方

我和我最后的倔强 握紧双手绝对不放

下一站是不是天堂 就算失望不能绝望

我和我骄傲的倔强 我在风中大声的唱

这一次为自己疯狂 就这一次我和我的倔强

对爱我的人别紧张 我的固执很善良

我的手越肮脏 眼神越是发光

你不在乎我的过往 看到了我的翅膀

你说被火烧过 才能出现凤凰

逆风的方向 更适合飞翔

我不怕千万人阻挡 只怕自己投降

我和我最后的倔强 握紧双手绝对不放

下一站是不是天堂 就算失望不能绝望

我和我骄傲的倔强 我在风中大声的唱

这一次为自己疯狂 就这一次我和我的倔强

就这一次让我大声唱

Hari Raya Open House

During this raya..
I managed to squeeze two Raya Open house events into my tight Gyne posting
The first one was just opposite my house -- Hajar's open house.. Ahem.. Hajar had a migraine attack on that Friday morning because she had to cook something for it!! Imagine the stress the organizers had on that day!
Anyways, the home-cooked food was delicious, Zarul's son was super cute and it was really a great time for most the M204s to get together amidst the crazy schedule of Sem9!



Beauties..
Beauties take 2
Cheeze!

While we all ate and ate...
Nana was busy washing and washing!! Gasp!

Adila with Zarul Junior..Group picture..
To all the Hajaropenhouse organizers.. thanks for the greaat food!

2nd Open House was on this sunday afternoon--my cfcs patient's. Because my colleague- huichen had to cover her ward during the afternoon, i drove there myself, and was greeted with a whole lot of food! yummy sotos, lontongs, and lemangs.. just delicious.. Senawang people really cook A star sotos! Before i came back, Pn_N gave me 2 of these, one for me and the other for huichen..


Inside were yummy food! Conclusion?
I had a really great makan-hariraya! :)