Monday, August 23, 2010

Imagine



Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Thursday, August 19, 2010

would i...

---
we have a room
at the corner of a big tall building
with an enormous view of the city
and a large piece of. sky.

i sit there sometimes
with the air conditioner humming at the background
so quietsometimes just to watch the clouds change its shape
so distant yet it feels so close
like smoke bellowing sprouting in mid air
hovering mutely against the blue sky
drifting so peacefully
oblivious to the chaos beneath

the street, usually dotted with cars
so busy
rushing from one end to the other
or headless humans
walking briskly to someplace
not noticing the beauty of nature

occasionally a bird or two would sky dive
frolicking in against the wind
as if teasing me
to get myself my own pair of wings
yet all i could do is stare from a piece of window
gawking away
with an internal clock counting down to the last minute of rest time

i saw the first rain drop tapping against the window.
the rain drop slide off the glass,
shimmering as it went down because of. gravity.

then,
an epiphany dawn upon me

would i believe that we can see such beautiful things
if the retina did not exist?
humans would be gropping in darkness
ruling the world on fours
and the world would only be perceived via touch.

would i believe in the beautiful melodies
if the cochlear did not exist?
when i can only stare and imagine the tunes when the pianist hit the black and white keys
or the harpist strum the strings?
so desperately straining my ears
filling in the imaginary tones


would i..

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Kopi Air and Discharge summaries..

1am : I guess i was really gawking at the TV screen during my call in labour room
after i cheekily offered the new mother to be " nak tengok TV si? -- *followed by a big grin "
The JM timing contractions suddenly quipped, " bila Doktor kali terakhir tengok TV? "
Maybe i was indeed unconsciously drooling in front of the 32" flat screen panel the other night. Hee. Before i could answer, came the familiar "cEaserrrr roOM 7" and i was up on my feet outta the room.

3am: "okay so you hold the os like that and poke it like... this.."*smile smile demonstrating ARM to Sue the new girl round the block. What followed that a minute later, was, i was pulling out a healthy rigorously crying baby out.. careful not to cut my fingers with the cord scissors (gosh-who designed such clumsy scissors?!)

6am : Still in scrubs and most of the time, smelling of liquor, with a mint in my mouth to prevent me patients to collapse from my halitosis, "Heloo mama*with a toothy grin ". ada headache? pening? rasa muntah? darah banyak si? baby BO ? PU? ... susu ibu paling best... palpate touch touch tummy for uterus ... repeated x 1000

8am : strict face *but with a*smile smile - "ze pt is blar blar from bla land.. vital signs are stable...plan is to.....but i think..."

9am : dunking imaginary donuts into --the-worst-ever-but-it-is-free-so-bear-with it-hospital-supplied-coffee-water, **smiling to myself thinking har! KPI time is 11, right on time! completing discharge summaries (x100000) in hopefully break neck speed with shaz ...
and that's my life so far till 9am in the morning yesterday..

**smiling does make a difference.
i guess i had so-nearly turned into one of them ---the dr_CTMMs.
Bless my angels who are so kind for introducing me Aunty Fish and her wonderful blog.
She woke me up from my zombie slumber.

Reminding a simple thing.
To smile.
For that smile would cross all boundaries, imaginary or real;
warm up cold hearts even in the dead winter of human goo.

And yes indeed
yesterday was different.
I actually felt a warm feeling wash over me.
as i was walking to the car, pass the tennis court, beneath the noon sun, warm breeze
and the beautiful ink blue sky dotted with cotton clouds .
i guess i was.
happy.
because of what i did for the past 24 hours?
most probably.